My husband was taken with this quote, spoken by his company CEO on a conference call, enough so to call me at work and share it with me. I agreed that it was an accurate mantra for us to adopt at this time. So we have identified the place we are in, and where we want to go from here: out of it.
Our No-Spend Month has been seriously compromised, by unanticipated bills that have arrived one after another, and by our own realization that we simply spend more than we take in (not that we didn’t know this before, just that its constant confirmation and our seemingly paralyzing impotence to fix it are depressing). Plus, tension surrounding all of this has risen again, straining an already tenuous relationship. We struggle daily to conquer our mounting to-do list, and worry incessantly over our heaping to-pay list. Sniping ensues, and we end up working against each other as much as we are supposed to be working together.
I am aware that many, many families are dealing with the same issues, and many more have problems that make ours look petty. What makes this my unending focus is that this is my family, my responsibility, and my solution to find. When I find myself feeling a surge of hope, something materializes like a sharp object next to a balloon, to deflate that fleeting moment. We are precariously sitting on the edge of solvency, and have exhausted all of our available tethers. Put simply, the money’s run out and there’s no place to find more.
We finally made our rental property (the one we would gladly not have if homes were actually selling in that neighborhood) inhabitable and secured a new renter. We’re hoping the third time’s a charm, as we have lost tons of money on the two previous renters, both of whom we thought would take care of the property, or at least actually pay the rent. Our last tenants, people we knew, skipped out and left damage to the tune of a current $5,000 or more loss to us. That was a crushing blow to our finances. Whether we’ll ever recover a dime remains doubtful.
Business has picked up for me, but the influx of work to do has not yet translated into an influx of money. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the status of money due to go out, so I find myself working like crazy and watching the available funds in my business line of credit dwindle to nothing. Countdown: T minus 20 days. It’s ironic; I counsel clients at the end of their financial ropes, while I am actually similarly situated. I tell them what they need to do, while I struggle to take my own advice, because sticking your head in the sand sometimes seems like the only available relief.
At least I was able to spend this 20 minutes of coffee time venting on a blog. Maybe it will prevent me from another day of soaring blood pressure, irritable exchanges with my spouse, and deficient patience with my children. We’ll see.
